Editor’s note: So I’ve accidentally commissioned two match reports for this match. I have to admit, I had little-to-no faith in Shantan delivering his assignment – sorry Shantan. So we also have the viewpoint of Alex Whaley. Oh well, of all this season’s games, the one that finished a tie (or is it a draw?) is probably the best one to hear about twice.
CICC vs Plastics as told by Alex Whaley:
As clouds cast their way over Battersea Park on Saturday morning, CICC were back to form this year, in that we were one player short of making up the 11-strong needed to take down the Mean Girls (in moniker only, of course) of the London Village Cricket scene, Plastics CC. Things could have been worse though, as the numbers were as low as 8 before England made short work of West Indies, documented up close and personal by the third best photographer in the club.
But what’s that you say? Things could have been worse? An early text from everyone’s favourite Dad regrettably informing that he is unwell and so will not making the trip up today. A hiccup, sure but morning-of declared absence is nothing we haven’t seen before. Another text not too long after – Shantan, curious as to why everyone in the chat is discussing ground location and pitch bookings when the game isn’t till tomorrow… He will be “late for sure.” We’ve still got a team and Plastics are there in full already, no worries.
The captain of another team set to start their t20 on one of the two available pitches at Battersea Park dutifully informs us that we have in fact booked Pitch 2, not Pitch 1. A glimmer of hope for the day to turn around shines, as Pitch 2 is also a grass wicket and much bigger outfield. Placed in perfect catching position for any hoiks to cow corner if bowling from one end and any heavy edges flying to third man if from the other on Pitch 2’s “much bigger outfield” is a lovely big bouncy castle as part of a children’s festival currently in full swing. There’s the village cricket we know and love.
After discussions with the organisers of the festival, it was decided that the council was to blame for all of this and no one was willing to accept the bill should a child be (inevitably) unlucky enough to wear a cricket ball to the face.
However, the teams that have now begun their match on Pitch 1 are only playing a t20 after all, so more discussions with Plastics ensue, and being the necessary adaptable bunch we are, a new plan is formed: nets, pub, t20 on Pitch 1.
About 3 Guinnesses later, we were underway with Plastics batting first. Jay opens the bowling, tearing in and delivering some good pace that strangle the batsmen early, creating a bunch of catches, of which none were held. Respectable and unfair figures of 0-30 after his four.
Jaymin Pandya was on at the other end, again keeping it tight with some quality swing and again created chances, two of which were held. One a ridiculously needless one-handed grab by Shantan at mid-off showing the mistake of the previous 3 or 4 drops before this being they were trying to use both hands. Foolish. 2-31 off his four.
Making his return after 3 years off, Alexander “Noah” Whaley took over from Jay with the two Plastics batters deciding this was their time, effortlessly welcoming Whaley back with 20 off his first. Pure rust. The next three he bowled went for the same amount with a friendly chop-on from batsman 3 to help boost his confidence. 1-40 for him.
At the other end, Shantan dialled it in first ball, trapping Plastics’ fourth batter in front for his first ball. Consistency was the key as he finished with a very solid 1-26.
Naitik and Jon Stern ended the innings with some very solid death-bowling, limiting Plastics to 165. Considering the absurd number of dropped catches, misfields, drinks at the pub beforehand, limited numbers in the field…. Things could have been worse.
Striding Meandering to the crease around 10 minutes later were Josh Shinner and Dave Burgess-Bellay. Who had the Guinnesses affected more? Plastics or CICC? We were about to find out. Josh – making it quite clear that the bat he was using was not his own and he wasn’t much a fan of before hitting the second ball of the innings for four past fine leg (taking him past 2000 runs in the process), the third for a six in the same direction, then played out the rest of the over with a single on the final ball. Two balls from the second opener saw Josh chip to mid-wicket. Out caught for 11.
Acting captain Steve Smith entered and started as he meant to go on, off the mark on his first ball with a single bringing Dave on strike. DB also saw some opportunity out there, striking two lovely fours before a massive appeal for LBW had everyone confused, except for Jay – who was umpiring at the time. It was clearly out, he just forgot to tell everyone that he thought so for around 20 seconds. DB gone for 9. CICC 31 for 2 after 4 overs.
Naitik joined Steve Smith at the crease and saw off a few early ones with some very dependable and solid batting. Steve Smith is scoring steadily but eventually gets bowled for 12 in the 7th over with CICC now on 45.
Jon Stern comes to the crease and Naitik clearly has seen enough so begins fucking smashing the ball to all corners of the ground in an outrageous display of reckless and disrespectful power hitting. Jon Stern understands the task and scores a single here and there, but not content to just sit and watch either, icing (Editor’s note: is this some sort of Antipodean slang or a typo?) a six of his own for a laugh. 6 overs later, and Naitik records his 50 with a lovely dance down the wicket and six straight back over the bowler’s head. He retires on 54. CICC have raced to 113 for 3 in the 13th over.
Whilst all this was going on, Alex Whaley was waiting, padded up, heart pounding, name down next in the scorer’s book. As Naitik crossed 40, Steve came for a friendly chat, informing him that Shantan would go in next, as he is “either there for a long time or a good time.”
Shantan strides confidently to the crease to join Jon Stern, well in and enjoying himself in the thirties. Plastics have not taken a wicket for 6 overs, having taken three in the first 7, and Naitik has shown us all what’s possible. Shantan swings hard at a full ball outside off which balloons up at a very comfortable height to a Forward Point. Gone first ball. Steve Smith turns to Alex Whaley – somewhat proud of himself… “See?”
Alex Whaley walks to the crease to join Jon Stern with 53 to win off 46 balls. They both start with patience and a succession of singles. A free hit here that goes for four and a flash from Jon that goes for six and after 17 overs, CICC need 23 from 18 balls. The opening bowlers come back into the attack. More singles, a two and some helpful wides make it 13 needed from 12.
With 6 required off the final over, Jon Stern starts with a lovely shot to deep cover which bears 2. 4 off 5. The next ball deflects off his pads and goes to fine leg for one more. Ball three is a well-placed short ball which earns no run. 3 needed from the last 3. After a Mankad warning, the same is served to Alex again and he again swings and misses. 2 balls left. A third ball well-placed again misses the bat but it’s also too much for the keeper. Stern calls a loud “yes” and scampers through for a single. 2 needed from the final ball. The bowler charges in, connects again with Jon’s pads which this time is collected by the keeper, but Whaley is already in crease by the time it gets there and Jon is halfway down. Game tied. Whaley finishes on 20* and Stern with a career high 40* which also took him past 500 runs for the club.
A gallant effort by all and a thrilling t20 in the end with no mention of a super over or bouncy castle. Neither team lost, we all ended back up at the pub, the weather turned out great and once again with this opposition, cricket was the winner. Things certainly could have been worse.
About the author: Alex Whaley is co-host of the lockdown cult hit Village Idiots, fans are desperate for season 2 (less keen on pandemic 2). On the pitch Whaley is a leg spinner, not your common garden spinner that you usually see in Village cricket (bit of a twirly action, bit of flight but it doesn’t actually spin), a proper leg spinner. I faced him once and I couldn’t pick him even when he told me what he was going to bowl.
CICC vs Plastics as told by Shantan Tanuku:
It was a sunny Saturday in July, the perfect setting for a cricket match at Battersea Park. The park was bustling with people enjoying the good weather, sipping beers, and soaking up the weekend vibes. Amidst this lively atmosphere, CICC was scheduled to play against the Plastics. However, the start of our match was anything but smooth.
We were all gathered by 12:30 PM for the scheduled 1:00 PM start, but our plans quickly went awry. The pitch we were assigned was next to a children’s play area, and the chaos of kids running around made it impossible to begin on time. To add to the confusion, Shantan, always known for being late, had mistaken the match for Sunday. Realising his error at the last minute, he rushed over, but the delay due to the play area had already set us back.
With the pitch still occupied, we approached the groundsman for a solution. Thankfully, there were two pitches available in Battersea Park. We were relieved to hear we could switch to the other pitch and play a quick 20-over game instead of the planned 35-over match.
While waiting, some of our team, including DBB, Steve, and Elliott BB, took to the nets for a practice session. Our debutant Mark also joined, freeing his arms for some bowling practice. Others decided to head to the Prince Albert pub for a quick drink, embracing the sunny day.
The ongoing T20 match stretched to the last ball, further delaying our start. As soon as their game finished, we jumped onto the field. Winning the toss, CICC opted to bowl first against the Plastics.
Jaymin and Jay, our opening bowlers, started the innings solidly. The Plastics made a steady start, scoring runs consistently in the first few overs. But in the 5th over, Jaymin worked his magic. He bowled a delivery just outside off stump, and the batsman, trying to hit it over mid-off, edged it to short third man. Naitik took a stunning diving forward catch, securing our first wicket.
The pressure was on, and in the very next over, Jaymin bowled another delivery outside off stump. The batsman attempted to send it over mid-off again, but Shantan took a spectacular one-handed catch. The team, including the batsman and the non-striker, were in awe. The non-striker even came over to Shantan to appreciate the catch.
As the spell changed, Shantan and Whaley came into the attack. With a new batsman at the crease, Shantan pitched the ball to the left-hander, who tried to defend. The ball hit the pads, and there was a loud shout for an LBW appeal. The umpire raised his finger, and the new batsman was out.
A powerful right-hander came to the crease, initially looking to defend but then unleashing his power. By the 10th over, the Plastics had reached 98/3. Whaley, bowling leg-spin, delivered a ball that the batsman tried to send over long-on. We managed to pull things back slowly, keeping the Plastics in check. Whaley bowled a leg-spin delivery that turned sharply, bowling the righthand batsman out who was attacking us. Jon Stern and Naitik bowled decently in the next spells, restricting the Plastics to a total of 166. Their top scorer, Mortimer, made 44, followed by T. King 40.
With a target of 167, CICC began their chase. Despite a few drops in the field, our team managed to pull things back from the 15th over onwards. The match was thrilling, and even though the Plastics had some strong performances, our team’s resilience shone through.
DBB and Sinner (Editor’s note: I’m not sure if this is an intentional typo or not) opened the batting for us, providing a great start with beautiful strokes. Sinner hit a massive six, and the pair kept the required run rate on track. Unfortunately, there was a breakthrough, and Sinner was caught out for 11, followed by DBB, who came back to the dugout at 9.
Steve, our captain, came to the crease and maintained the momentum, starting with a beautiful cover drive for four. Naitik joined him, and despite the run rate slowing down due to successive wickets, they rotated the strike well to keep us in the game. Naitik’s heavy hitting came into play when he sent a huge six to the deep square leg, igniting hope.
In a pivotal over, Naitik faced a new bowler who delivered a juicy full toss, which Naitik sent to deep square leg for consecutive boundaries. This over yielded 21 runs, changing the pace of the match. The next over was tidy with 7 runs, followed by another strong over with 15 runs, keeping us in the game.
Unexpectedly, Steve edged the ball to the keeper and walked off, showing great sportsmanship. Jon Stern joined Naitik, who soon completed his half-century with a blistering six. Naitik retired at 54, and Shantan came in, tasked with getting some quick runs. Unfortunately, Shantan was caught at gully on the first ball (Editor’s note: Shantan explained that his dismissal was due to unfavourable conditions, no further details or elaboration were provided)
Whaley entered the fray and played aggressively, hitting two fours and keeping us in the hunt. Jon Stern supported him well, hitting runs whenever possible. Their partnership brought us close to victory, needing just 13 runs from the last two overs.
We had a decent 19th over, scoring 7 runs, leaving us with 6 runs to win in the final over. The captain of the Plastics, exceptional with the ball, came on to bowl. Jon punched the first ball towards deep extra cover to get a couple of runs. The next ball was a leg bye we were left at 3 off 4 . Whaley on strike, the 3rd ball goes as a dot and no runs, as does the 4th ball. We need 3 from 2. The next ball went to the keeper, but Jon was quick to run and completed a single, leaving us needing 2 runs from the last ball with Jon on strike. Cameras were out to capture the moment. The bowler came steaming in with great pace. Whaley managed to snatch a run as the keeper fumbled, securing a thrilling draw for the team.
About the author: With his whites whiter than an E.L James novel, Shantan is one of CICC’s leading wicket takers in recent years. Shantan’s natural talent and laid back approach makes him a bookies favourite for both the champagne moment and the headband, equally capable of taking a one-handed ‘worldie’, fielding directly behind the umpire, or nonchalantly waving the ball through to the boundary.
